Real Loki Laufeyson
by Emerald the Warrior Princess
Summary: What REALLY happened in Germany. DISCLAIMED


**(A\N You can't ever listen to Eminem without getting the weirdest idea ever. Seriously, people!)**

Loki glared at the Man of Iron and the Patriotic man as they cornered him. So, he did what anyone would've done: he made holographic clones of himself and used magic to disappear elsewhere. Natasha sighed and asked through the speaker, "May I have your attention, please? May I have your attention, please? Will the real Loki Laufeyson please stand up? I repeat, will the real Loki Laufeyson please stand up?" Nat facepalmed. "We're going to have a problem here." Just then Loki Clone #51 stood up. And started rappin'.

"_Ya'll act like you've never seen an Asgardian before, jaws all on the floor like Steve and Red Skull just bust through the door and started kicking his butt worse than before the Second World War! Throwin' him over furniture_!" (Steve Rogers/Captain America blushed an interesting shade of red when Loki Clone #51 said- err, rapped this) Then Loki Clone #6 stood up.  
"_It's the return of the_…"  
A girl looked at her boyfriend and went, "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding right? Loki didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"

Then Loki Clone #7 took over da song. "_And Odin said… NOTHING YOU MEWLING QUIMS! ODIN'S DEAD! HE'S LOCKED IN MY BASEMENT! HAHA!"_  
"_Mortal women love Tom Hidd- err, Loki_."  
Another girl looked to her friend and said, "Loki, I'm sick of him. Look at him, walking holding the you-know-what, killing you-know-who!" Her friend giggled.  
"Yeah, but he's so cute, though!"  
The Avengers started to look greener than the Hulk. Who was sobbing right now at this annoying parody.

"_Yeah, I probably got a coupla screws up in my head loose, but no worse than__-_" (people gasped. If you ever heard real slim shady, you'd know what Loki had just said) GO LOKI CLONE #76!

_ "Sometimes, I just wanna get on Marvel just so I can get an Emmy award, but I can't._  
_But it's cool for Bruce Banner to Hulk out." _Then, before Tony could stop himself, he was rapping.  
"_My bum is on yo lips, my bum is yo lips. And If I'm lucky, you just might give it a little kiss_." Everyone (and the music) stopped. Steve looked at Tony. "What the f**k?!" Tony shrugged.  
"It's catchy." Everyone shook their heads and Loki(s) started to rap again.

"_And that's the message I deliver to Mortal Kids and expect them to know what a Bilgesnipe is. Of course they gonna know what the tesseract is when they get a job for S.H.E.I.L.D won't they?" _Everyone nodded.  
Cue Loki Clone #31. "_You ain't nothing but Mammals, well some of you are cannibals._"

People of Germany + Avengers: **(O_O)** EEEEWWWW!

"_But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote. Mortals wave yo pantyhose_-" (some fangirls happily did so) "-_sing the chorus and here it goes_!"  
All Loki Clones plus the possible real Loki started singing. "_'Cause I'm the real Loki, yes I'm the real Loki. All you other Lokis are just imitating_."  
Nat rolled her eyes. "So won't the real Loki please stand up?" 'Please stand up' echoed. Loki refused and continued to rap.

"_Will Smith can't cuss in his raps to sell records, but Tom Hiddleston can_!" People cheered.  
"_You think I care about taking over just Germany? Half of you Mortals can't even stomach me, let alone kneel to me_."  
"But, Loki, what if you take over?" Somebody asked. "Wouldn't it be weird?"

Loki(s) looked dumbfounded. "_Why? So you guys can lie to get me here? So you can sit me here in a cell meant for Hulk?" _All Avengers looked guilty and scared as people glared at them. "_Yo Hulk, better switch me cells. So I can listen to Tony and Steve and hear 'em argue over who is the bravest_."  
Okay, so that was also true.

"_Mewling quim, put me on blast Midgard TV."_  
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Sigyn. Hee-hee!" Someone said, yet again.  
"I wish I knew how to download this audio on MP3." Steve commented. "Show the whole world who is Loki." But no one listened. They were waving their arms and singing along with Loki(s).

"_I'm tired of all you Midgardians who refuse to obey me, so I have been sent here to rule you_!_ And there's a million clones just like me. Who rap like me, who just wants to rule Midgard like me._  
_Who dress like me, walk, talk and act like me. They might be the next Avenger enemy but just not quite me_!" So now everybody (even Avengers) were singing along.

"_'Cause I'm the real Loki, yes I'm the real Loki. All you other Lok_-" The song was interrupted by a sneeze. All the clones disappeared, leaving just one Loki sitting on the stairs. "D**n." He muttered as The Avengers took him into custody.  
And ya'll said he didn't put up a fight** ;)**


End file.
